Excuses we all have them, we all use them.  I’d say most days I use excuses sparingly.  However, one would think these last few weeks I have been using them at every turn.  Honestly, if you were able to actually hear the thoughts roaring through my mind when it has come to this fast you would probably be disappointed. 

“You are pregnant, it’s just a pregnancy craving.”

“I didn’t get any sleep last night, it’s ok if I lost my cool.  I’m not to blame.  Sleep deprivation she stripped me of all my patience.  If I wasn’t so tired I wouldn’t have been short.”

“If he wouldn’t have done ___________________, said __________________, then I wouldn’t have responded that way.”

“I can’t handle their lack of planning, it’s not my fault.  Why should I bend over backwards to accommodate them?”

“I don’t feel like cooking, we can just go through the drive through, I know it’s not really in the budget but it’ll be ok.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get ______________________ done.  I didn’t have time.”

“I’ll just read a scripture on my You version app, that’s got to count for something right?  It’s better than nothing.  Some people don’t even take the time to read a verse of the day.”

“Here take the ipad a few more minutes an electronic device isn’t going to kill you.”

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.  I have come to realize excuses run rampant in my life like the moles in my backyard.  (Which by the way is a serious problem any tips would be gladly welcomed on how to get rid of them.)

I have come to realize, throughout this fast, I live in the dangerous land of excuses.  I yield to excuses.  I don’t exercise self-control, and I have been in denial for quite some time. 

During my fraction of a quiet time this week, 

the Holy Spirit graciously led me to a scripture.  

He remained silent.  I pondered, re read, pondered some more.  

He let the living Word do the work in my heart. 

 “So what do we do?  Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving?  I should hope not!  If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there?  OR didn’t you realize we packed up and left there for good?  That is what happened in baptism.  When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind, when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace --- a new life in a new land.”

Romans 6:1-3 MSG

I’m going to be a hundred percent honest in this post.  When I read this verse my immediate reaction was to list several people of which this verse applied!   I was not among the list.  The really long list had my name nowhere on it.  Love keeps no record of wrong. I am by default a great score keeper of others wrong.  I am a selfish lover of myself.  I have no problem of keeping no records of wrong when it comes to myself.  Excusing my behavior, comparing my sin I justify and ease my hurting heart.  I wholeheartedly believe the best in myself and make excuses after excuses for my sin.  I lavish grace upon my filthy sin ridden heart. 

Sisters, ladies, friends this has by far been one of the hardest weeks for me as I had to take a real hard look at my inward self.  I finally humbled myself and like David said, “Ok. Search me.  Reveal to me my inmost part.”  This is not an easy prayer.  BUT, can I say in this safe place, “it hurt so good”. 

If you are humble.  If you are willing. Holy Spirit will lead you just as he led Jesus into the desert.  HE will guide you into a new land, of no excuse but responsibility HE will lead you to place of utter dependence upon Him alone.  He will correct you, love, and heal you.  He will lovingly wash you clean.  A broken heart and contrite spirit He has yet to deny.

I don't want to go on living in the old country of sin and excuses rather I want to live in the Land of the living, like the Psalmist speaks of in Psalm. 

"Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living."

Psalm 27:13