It is hard to believe a year has passed since I received “that” call.  Maybe you received “that” call just today, yesterday, last week, or six years ago.  You know the kind of call that knocks the wind out of your lungs. Doesn’t matter if you’re expecting it or not, nothing can prepare you for the tightening of lungs.

Torrential tears down poured from my face.  Time is fleeting. In my young naivenes I don’t think I truly realized just how quickly time rolls away.  Fleeting.  Just like, “the blink of an eye” they would say.  “Here today, gone tomorrow”.  None of this meant anything to the depths of my core until after I had children.  I have slowly started understanding the value of time and just how fast it goes.  So hard to believe my littles are almost four and two.   

The day I got that call it was as though my heart began to hemorrhage.  I couldn’t stop the bleeding.  The finality of knowing I’d never see her face, hear her voice, touch her skin, smell her sweet scent, or watch her feeble hands crochet was unbearable. 

I wondered what it would be like from here on out.  It has been much of the same just without her smile.  Funny thing is I smile more now when I think about her than when she was with us during her last few months.  Just thinking of her precious life makes me smile even on the worst days.  This may sound lopsided loopy I know that I smile more now that she is in heaven then when she was on earth, but it is true.  I smile knowing she lived full, and she lives full now in His presence. Now re-united with her love, and children who went before her she is fully there.  She wasn’t fully all here even though she was here.  Her tired mind had faded.  Memories were lost.  Even though she couldn’t remember a lot, and had forgotten most of her life, she never forgot to love.

Even while she suffered the loss of her sweet mind she never lost her ability to love and smile.  I pray I too never loose my ability to smile or love.  I will loose a lot of things in this life, but I never want to loose my ability to smile or love.

My family was torn apart at the age of three.  You can read more about this HERE.  Anyhow, after the murder of my mother and the incarceration of my father you can only imagine how the circumstances of these events could leave me with thousands of questions.  Many of the questions I had left me dumbfounded, angry, sad, depressed, and even feeling forgotten.

I think it is easy for us all to feel forgotten at some point in our life especially by our family members.  Whether this feeling comes by tragic events, divorce, death, jobs, or being silenced and ignored as a child or because they don’t agree with your life choices what ever the reason you may feel forgotten today, the Lord is asking you a question.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child

and not have compassion on the son of her womb?”

The answer may or may not shock you,

As a mother of two small children, I am absolutely head over heels in love with them and cannot imagine ever forgetting and forsaking my children.  However, I know it happens to many.  IF I could reach through the screen right now, cup your sweet face, and tell you, "I cannot explain why, I cannot fathom the reason but I know your pain.  I know it hurt, and still hurts, but there is one who will adopt you as His and fill your heart with the love you always wanted.  He will care for you, and embrace you.  His love will bring healing to your life and joy to your heart.  He will never forget you and you will always have a place in His heart.  You are engraved on the palms of His hands an your walls will always be before him.  You are the apple of His eye and he thinks about you obsessively, knowing ever hair on your head and catching every tear that falls from your cheek."

“Surely they may forget,

Yet I will not forget you.”

Isaiah 49:15

While there were many times in my life where I felt forgotten, not necessarily by my mother or any of the family left to raise me, but mostly by the Lord he would remind me of this truth.  Though you may be forgotten by others, parents, siblings, teachers, friends, a boyfriend, I, the LORD will never forget you.  I will never forsake you, and I will adopt you in as my own.  (Romans 8:15)

The family he adopts us into is the greatest family on this side of heaven. The cool thing about adoption is that once you are adopted you can never be “unadopted” (excuse my word I made up.) meaning while I can give up my rights to my birth children at any time I would like if I adopt a child I can never give up my rights to them, I am stuck with them. 

You my friend have an opportunity to be adopted by the God of the universe and He will never grow tired of you, or give up his rights to you.  He wants to be stuck with you forever! You are his forever and always.  If you feel forgotten or maybe you are not sure where you belong, you can leave here today with some answers to your questions.

Do I belong?

YES; yes you belong more than you know.  Right here in His arms and His family!

Am I forgotten?

YES and NO.  Yes man will forget you, but the Lord will never forget you.  You belong.  You are wanted.  You are adopted into His family.  You are secure.  

He will never give up His rights to you. 

I am joining with many other fabulous writers over at Kate’splace where every Thursday she hosts a twitter party (#fmfparty).  We connect, catch up, and look forward to the word prompt given every Thursday night.  After the word prompt is given we set a timer for five minutes and go to town. We meet up at her place and link up and share our thoughts on the word prompt.  

Last night’s word prompt was: FAMILY. 

I’m thrilled to be able to still link up and join her party while keeping with my 31-day topic. You can find all of my post here for this year’s challenge and last years post can be found here. 

Thoughts of you filled my heart as I folded the last load of laundry for the day.  I placed the mismatched socks in the small wooden bowl.  I turned to look outside, when I saw my reflection in the window.  “I wonder if she will be like me?” I’m not sure I want her to be like me if I am completely honest with myself.   

You know, the other woman, who will be in my son’s life before I know what hits me.  I’ve already started thinking about her.  Maybe you have too.  I don’t want her to be like me in a selfish prideful kind of way.  NO. I am so undone, I want better for him.  However, the more I think about it the more I think, “I do want her to be like me”. 

I never want her to feel inferior to me or on the outside.  I never want her to feel inadequate in her love for my son.  NO, quite the opposite I want her to know everything about him and love him still in spite of his flaws.  I want her to love deep, and find beauty in the keeping of fragile vows.

I want her to be like me, because I want her to lose track of time.

I lose track of time.  ALL. THE. TIME.  I like to think I lose track of time not because I am careless, but because I am I’m careful.  Careful of the time I have right now.  Making the most of every opportunity I have with my son. I want her to make memories instead of making never ending to do lists. I want to be full of care for the hearts in my home; not just floors and walls. 

I lose track of time when I build with legos.  A seemingly unimportant thing to lose track of time over, however I believe I’m building much more than zoos and farms.  I am building the inner workings of a heart.  I am building self-confidence with words of affirmation and encouragement. I believe building legos with my son is more about building the structure of his heart than a pretend zoo.  With each new structure we build I empower him to believe in himself, his dreams, his creativity, and his ability to be a visionary.  I lose track of time teaching him that he can do anything he works hard at and puts his mind to.  I want her to lose track of time encouraging him in his wildest dreams, empowering him to believe in himself with her words of affirmation.

I lose track of time at bedtime.  Telling stories, stealing snuggles, sharing secrets, and whispering prayers.  The whole world seems to stop every night; even if it is only for less than an hour.  I need the world to stop.  I need my world to stop.  I need to lose track of time and forget about the less important.  I need to give my full attention to the most important.  Quietly I lay. I listen.  Unafraid he bears his heart.  I want her to lose track of time while she listens with a heart that cares.  I want her to hold him as he reveals his fears, his dreams.  I want her to hear his pleading for a safe place to land arms waiting to embrace him without fear, resentment, or criticism.  I want her to listen first, above anything else, and then I want her to speak gently with love in her voice and grace in her eyes.  I want her to do this, because I know this is truly the only way to his heart.  This is how she will know what he lives for, what makes his heart skip a beat, what causes his eyes to light up in the darkest times.

I lose track of time when we take walks.  I want her to lose track of time holding his hand taking long walks.  I want her to lose track of time as they share jokes and laugh together.  I want their joy and laughter to be a bond of strength.  If you can laugh together, I believe you can stay together.  It isn’t just the holding of hands that keeps marriages together it the laughter and joy of a best friend.

I want her to lose track of time when they are together with friends and family.  I want her to forge a bond with his friends and family.  I want her to enjoy coming home for visits.  I want her to lose track of time swinging on the front porch as she listens to stories of days gone by.  

I want her to value their friends and family.  I want her to welcome others into their lives.  I lose track of time most often when I am with friends and family.

I don’t want my son to lose you to me and I don’t want to lose my son to you.  The only thing I want us to lose is track of time.  I want to lose track of time to the important to each other, to you, to him, and to those who will follow.  Yes I do.  I do want her to be like me.  I want her to lose track of time.  ALL. THE. TIME.


Photo Attribution: www.morguefile.com