Mismatched Socks And Thoughts of You
9:18 PM
Thoughts of you filled my heart as I folded the last load of
laundry for the day. I placed the
mismatched socks in the small wooden bowl.
I turned to look outside, when I saw my reflection in the window. “I wonder if she will be like me?” I’m not
sure I want her to be like me if I am completely honest with myself.
You know, the other woman, who will be in my son’s life
before I know what hits me. I’ve already
started thinking about her. Maybe you
have too. I don’t want her to be like me
in a selfish prideful kind of way. NO. I
am so undone, I want better for him. However,
the more I think about it the more I think, “I do want her to be like me”.
I never want her to feel inferior to me or on the
outside. I never want her to feel
inadequate in her love for my son. NO, quite
the opposite I want her to know everything about him and love him still in
spite of his flaws. I want her to love
deep, and find beauty in the keeping of fragile vows.
I want her to
be like me, because I want her to lose track of time.
I lose track of time.
ALL. THE. TIME. I like to think I
lose track of time not because I am careless, but because I am I’m
careful. Careful of the time I have
right now. Making the most of every
opportunity I have with my son. I want her to make memories instead of making
never ending to do lists. I want to be full of care for
the hearts in my home; not just floors and walls.
I lose track of time when I build with legos. A seemingly unimportant thing to lose track
of time over, however I believe I’m building much more than zoos and farms. I am building the inner
workings of a heart. I am
building self-confidence with words of affirmation and encouragement. I believe
building legos with my son is more about building the structure of his heart
than a pretend zoo. With each new
structure we build I empower him to believe in himself, his dreams, his creativity,
and his ability to be a visionary. I
lose track of time teaching him that he can do anything he works hard at and
puts his mind to. I want her to lose
track of time encouraging him in his wildest dreams, empowering him to believe
in himself with her words of affirmation.
I lose track of time at bedtime. Telling stories, stealing snuggles, sharing
secrets, and whispering prayers. The
whole world seems to stop every night; even if it is only for less than an
hour. I need the world to stop. I need my world to stop. I need to lose track of time and forget
about the less important. I need to give
my full attention to the most important.
Quietly I lay. I listen. Unafraid
he bears his heart. I want her to lose
track of time while she listens with a heart that cares. I want her to hold him as he reveals his
fears, his dreams. I want her to hear
his pleading for a safe place to land arms waiting to embrace him without fear,
resentment, or criticism. I want her to
listen first, above anything else, and then I want her to speak gently with
love in her voice and grace in her eyes.
I want her to do this, because I know this is truly the only way to his
heart. This is how she will know what he
lives for, what makes his heart skip a beat, what causes his eyes to light up
in the darkest times.
I lose track of time when we take walks. I want her to lose track of time holding his
hand taking long walks. I want her to
lose track of time as they share jokes and laugh together. I want their joy and laughter to be a bond of
strength. If you can laugh together, I
believe you can stay together. It isn’t
just the holding of hands that keeps marriages together it the laughter and joy
of a best friend.
I want her to lose track of time when they are together
with friends and family. I want her to
forge a bond with his friends and family.
I want her to enjoy coming home for visits. I want her to lose track of time swinging on
the front porch as she listens to stories of days gone by.
I want her to value their friends and
family. I want her to welcome others
into their lives. I lose track of time
most often when I am with friends and family.
I don’t want my son to lose you to me and I don’t want to
lose my son to you. The only thing I want us to lose is track of time. I want to lose track of time to the important
to each other, to you, to him, and to those who will follow. Yes I do. I do want her to be like me. I want her to lose track of time. ALL. THE. TIME.
Photo Attribution: www.morguefile.com
Photo Attribution: www.morguefile.com
12 comments
"This is how she will know what he lives for, what makes his heart skip a beat, what causes his eyes to light up in the darkest times." And, I pray you are raising him to know what SHE lives for, what makes HER heart skip a beat, what causes HER eyes to light up in the darkest times. I have two grown sons and one grown daughter - and her husband doesn't have a clue of these things. It breaks my heart for her. xo Excellent post, Laura!
ReplyDeleteOH SUSAN YES THIS IS MY HEARTS DESIRE. I am blessed with an amazing husband who does this for me, and I pray my boys follow in his steps and learn how to love like Christ. Gentle in spirit, selfless in his acts, and kind in all his ways. I will be praying for your daughter! Breaks my heart as well.
DeleteWhat beautiful thoughts and imagery, Laura. I have two daughters (one married), and I want their future spouse and my son-in-law to always cherish them--to build them up and strive to help them become all that God wants them to be.
ReplyDeleteThanks, yes I want to teach my boys honor, respect, and unconditional love. A heart that serves and loves the other more than himself. Praying for your children today as I pray for mine.
DeleteOh I love this Laura! I lose track of time as well... sometimes, I must admit - it is because I am being careless... but often it is as you say - it's because I am being so careful and present. Some days I have nothing to 'show' for my day, but in the talking it through, my husband reminds me of how much I invested in people... that fruit is long lasting and doesn't always show up right away! Great post!
ReplyDeleteCharlie I often feel I have NOTHING to show for my days, however the fruit is long lasting and doesn't always show up right away like you said. I am believing on the days when we feel we have nothing to show those will be the seeds planted that will bear abundant fruit, fruit that remains!
DeleteLaura, this is such a beautiful post! I want her to lose track of time ALL THE TIME for you and for your boys too. I need to lose track of time more often. I am not always the best at losing track of time and getting caught up in the moment. Thanks for the reminder to do that! Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteTara, thank you. Oh how I pray for her and my boys everyday. There is so much more I want for them both, above all I want them to treasure the Lord and each other.
DeleteYes!!! As a mom of three young boys, I get this!! I feel so many days I can get trapped in the need to plan every minute in order to keep everything in sync and end the day feeling accomplished. Yet...blessed are the days where I allow time to stand still, sweep my boys and I up in a state of living in the present by going on a long walk together...hand in hand...talking about the birds, the moon, the end of school and why ice-cream melts. The gift of time is so priceless. Love this post (and great pictures too!)
ReplyDeleteBethany I didnt realize you had three boys! I bet you have a rowdy house like mine. I am so blessed with my little ones. I am learning to treasure every moment! I try to just soak it in and ignore the lie of the enemy I am being lazy, i have learned busy is the thief of our precious gift of time.
DeleteJust so beautiful... from depths way deep inside to the outward beauty displayed Laura. Well expressed and well received :-)
ReplyDeleteCindy thank you! I love you and miss you dearly!!!
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