"That" call, changed my life.

7:16 PM

It is hard to believe a year has passed since I received “that” call.  Maybe you received “that” call just today, yesterday, last week, or six years ago.  You know the kind of call that knocks the wind out of your lungs. Doesn’t matter if you’re expecting it or not, nothing can prepare you for the tightening of lungs.



Torrential tears down poured from my face.  Time is fleeting. In my young naivenes I don’t think I truly realized just how quickly time rolls away.  Fleeting.  Just like, “the blink of an eye” they would say.  “Here today, gone tomorrow”.  None of this meant anything to the depths of my core until after I had children.  I have slowly started understanding the value of time and just how fast it goes.  So hard to believe my littles are almost four and two.   

The day I got that call it was as though my heart began to hemorrhage.  I couldn’t stop the bleeding.  The finality of knowing I’d never see her face, hear her voice, touch her skin, smell her sweet scent, or watch her feeble hands crochet was unbearable. 

I wondered what it would be like from here on out.  It has been much of the same just without her smile.  Funny thing is I smile more now when I think about her than when she was with us during her last few months.  Just thinking of her precious life makes me smile even on the worst days.  This may sound lopsided loopy I know that I smile more now that she is in heaven then when she was on earth, but it is true.  I smile knowing she lived full, and she lives full now in His presence. Now re-united with her love, and children who went before her she is fully there.  She wasn’t fully all here even though she was here.  Her tired mind had faded.  Memories were lost.  Even though she couldn’t remember a lot, and had forgotten most of her life, she never forgot to love.

Even while she suffered the loss of her sweet mind she never lost her ability to love and smile.  I pray I too never loose my ability to smile or love.  I will loose a lot of things in this life, but I never want to loose my ability to smile or love.



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6 comments

  1. OMG!! So excited that you were in my 5-4-5 line up sweet friend and then I read your post. UGH - my heart smiled and cried and the memories of my mom and my grandma and my stepdad and my grandpa and my friends who have left this earth flood over me and I just want to hug them. And hug you!! Wish we could share our memories over a cup of our favorite beverage and smile over photos of the lives that molded us!!!

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    1. Awe! yes I would love that. There are some really amazing people that walk this earth, His gifts to us. I am so glad I was able to bring a smile and even tears to your eyes, its just good to cry sometimes. You know cleansing and refreshing. Oh to hold her hand, to swing, to just be in her sweet presence again, I cannot wait for that day. Ok Im crying now too. Love you, I smiled when your post popped up after mine!!!

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  2. Really beautifully written. This post is such a lovely tribute. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you Mary. She was an amazing woman!!

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  3. Love this! I love how many of us shared about those dear to us today. I wrote about my grandparents and aging with grace.

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