A Letter to the Abused One

11:15 AM






I am sorry.  You NEVER heard these words from the one who inflicted pain upon your bare skin.

Eyes filled with terror as you heard the footsteps come down the hall.  Your heart raced and began to beat within your chest.  The pain you felt from your pounding heart was just the beginning of the pain you were about to endure.


The door opened and there your abuser stood with anger in his eyes and a sting in his hand.  Those hands that were created for healing and help have now become your worst enemy. 


You crouched down hoping, praying the abuse would end as fast as a blink of an eye.  Your help did not arrive, and the abuse was not quick like a blink.  You cried, you screamed, your heart bled with hurt. 


Years went by and you became numb.  You quit caring, and aiming to please for your efforts were never enough.  Nothing you did was ever quite right.  Your abuser always found a way to place blame on you, leading you to believe you were the problem, the mistake, and the reason for the abuse.




I AM SORRY.

I am sorry the one who was supposed to be your Warrior and protect you wounded you. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry he lied to you and spoke harshly to you.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you were left alone in a pool of tears.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry your mother was trapped, paralyzed by fear and abuse herself, leaving her to weak to intervene. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry the abuse sent you on a course mapped out with pain and lies. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry your abuse led you into a life of shame and rejection.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry your abuse exiled you and left you alone in this evil, harsh, cruel, cold world.

I AM SORRY. 

I am sorry you were never able to sit in the lap of your Father and experience the kind of love that heals your heart and calms your fears.  The kind of love that cheers you on even when you make a “C”.  The kind of love that says you did it, you tried and gave your best and that is all I care about.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry your father never rocked you to sleep instead rocked you into the wall. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry he left you shamed and humiliated in front of others who looked down on you. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry he used you to gain approval, laughter, and jokes from others.  You are not a joke, you are not an embarrassment.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you were left to pick up the pieces, dry your eyes and become a man.  A man lost, a boy scared, a man hidden behind scars, and years of resentment. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you never knew the purity of the kiss of your father, and the lack of undefiled love left you chasing the kiss of other women and men.  I am sorry the twisted, manipulated love you were shown as a child left you empty, yearning, and desiring a love from childhood you never had and caused you to accept a distorted love.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry the enemy lied to you and led you to believe you were destined for the broken life you are now living. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry the stress from abuse sent you spiraling out of control into eating disorders and detrimental behaviors.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you felt so hopeless you turned to the dark, all you ever knew, to lead you along the way.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you never heard you were good enough, handsome, beautiful, strong, courageous, gifted, talented, and worth every sacrifice we as parents make.

I AM SORRY. 

I am sorry you experienced rejection, insecurity, and bullying in the hallways of your school and faced the same shame when you would return home.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry your home was not a place of shelter from the rain and storms of life.  I am sorry your home was more like Hell and a place of despair. 

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you were never told you were an answer to prayer, a gift from heaven cherished and loved.

I AM SORRY.

I am desperately sorry.

I AM SORRY.

I am sorry you were an abused one. 


I AM SORRY.  I, your Heavenly Father hear my heart, my words through my daughter, I AM SORRY. 

Photo Attribution: Katie Kowalski


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10 comments

  1. Reading this, of course I thought it was penned from an abused woman, but the surprise when you were writing it from a male perspective. My husband was an abused child - but in God's great mercy and grace, he is healed. Poignant post.

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    1. Susan, I myself did experience abuse for a short time. So I can relate to a lot of these thoughts, feelings and emotions. I did however, write this one with a specific male on my heart who experienced abuse as a child and even into his teen years. He is now far from home and I desperately want Him to know His heavenly Father is yearning for his return, to bring him healing, and that he is sorry he was abused. I am so thankful your husband is healed! There are so many abused one's male and female. Breaks my heart, praying for all if then earnestly.

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  2. This is just beautiful, Laura. I have so many students (both male and female) that experience abuse of some sort every time they go home (I work at a boarding school). I hope that my life and my words share the hope of Jesus with each of their bruised and tender hearts.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, I know my husband and I are youth pastor's. I pray for them all the time. It is heart wrenching when you know what they are going home to, all you can do is pray and love them when they are with you.

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  3. I am glad I never have had to feel abuse. This sounds heart wrenching. Praying for all of those who have been hurt or are currently an abusive situation. God heals all.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, your prayers are coveted! They make a difference!

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  4. WOW!! Laura - what a touching post! It IS heart-breaking that so many are abused; whether a boy or girl, a man or woman - nobody should have to suffer the abuse. Our Father in Heaven is there for them, and I pray the one you have on your heart returns to His loving arms - and perhaps the loving arms of one on earth that can help him to recover. Thank you so much for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Barbara - Yes that is my heart's cry for healing for all of those who have suffered abuse in some form.

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  5. This is a beautiful post and reminds me that God knows everything that has ever happened to us and still loves us with an everlasting love. Thank you for pointing me to Him tonight!

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    Replies
    1. That warms my heart that you were directed to Him, that is my prayer for all who come over to this neck of the internet that they would find Him and be touched and forever changed by His love!

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