Stargazer

3:02 PM


I’ll be utterly and completely honest I am a stargazer.  Not the type of stargazer, who looks into the starry night and looses all track of time.  While I thoroughly enjoy the spring and summer nights where I am afforded the opportunity to escape into the country and gaze into the night sky, it happens less than I’d like. 



Here lately, I have found myself to be the stargazer of the rich and famous.  I loose myself wandering through endless mazes of instagram, blogs, and twitter wishing I had their life.  I find inspirational authors, compare and contrast, their lives, their successes, and envy them. 



Envy is a thief of contentment.  Gazing at the “now” appearances of their lives without knowing the “way back when” years of endless lonely days and nights is foolish.  How can I envy a walk I know nothing of? What troubles their heart, threatens their dreams, steals their joy, breaks down every ounce of hope, and robs them of contentment themselves?  The success of others, to our mere eyes, often appears as luck.  This “luck” of having friends in the right places, massive amounts of money, connections, or fame, are really years of hard work and dedication. I quickly forget to examine the long road they themselves traveled. 

Tired but relentless in pursuit for the calling in their hearts, they journey on, despite hardship disappointment, and failures.  They make sacrifices; practice the mundane behind the scenes not so glamorous art of self-discipline.  These I dream of being or being like, make sacrifices, practice, pray, read, write, study and do this all while never being known by anyone except the greatest of all – The CREATOR of the stars.

To be known by many one must first be known by one, the Creator of all.  He who creates the stars, created it all.  He knows me better, much better, than I know myself.  While I am off gallivanting, dreaming of another’s life, He is calling me to dream and pursue His life, His heart, His story, His plan, and not to fret and envy others.

I desperately long to be acknowledged, to do something great for His purposes, but sometimes more times than not, I confuse the acknowledgement of man, as success instead of the acknowledgement of Him.  I am reminded of the story of Joseph, a little haughty in spirit; he just knew the Lord was going to use him for something great and couldn’t wait for his turn at success. 

However, his journey to “success” came twenty-two years later in a way, I think perhaps even shocked and surprised him. His story, I believe, was probably not anything like he expected it to be.  Never in a thousand years do I think Joseph thought his journey to doing something great for God would lead him into slavery and land him in prison. 


Hidden in the shadows, for twenty-two years, Joseph stayed faithful to the Lord.  Joseph acknowledged the Lord in the shadows, and the Lord acknowledged him in the shadows.  The Lord provided Joseph opportunities even in the shadows of prison to continue acknowledging HIM.  I am sure that if I were Joseph I may have thought twice about acknowledging the Lord in the shadows of prison.  After all Joseph had previously done what was right and it landed him in prison, into the shadows.

I believe while you and I are not in a physical prison, we have become captive to envy, a prison of jealousy.  We have been held captive to the lie of the enemy that the years in the shadows are worthless, fruitless, unproductive, maybe even punishment, meaningless.  We have become captive to the thoughts that our dreams will never come true.  We are just nobodies, working a job that we hate, wandering through college lost with no vision or dream to pursue, this is all we will ever be… our current state.  Lives in what seem to be shambles, are redirected, redesigned, and recreated for His glory.



Yet, “If we resist the mundane we will miss the miraculous.” (Steven Furtick)  He hides us in the shadows for a reason, for his purpose, for His timing, for a way that is way bigger than we could ever dream.  I have committed to the shadows, to embrace His ways, to acknowledge Him in all I do and to live for His purposes.  He will draw me out and use me when He sees fit at the perfect time. 

Maybe you are like me gazing at stars, envying their life instead of gazing at the STAR and the Creator of all stars envying a life that brings HIM glory even if it means living in the shadows and making Him known right there in the dark, lonely, insignificant places.  When you and I make Him known wherever we are the “knowing” you bring to those hidden in the shadows along side you is NEVER insignificant. 

May we remember to measure our success not by the praise of man, the media of this world, how many read our blogs, listen to the music we create, the publicity and fame, but by the lives we change by making Him known.

I want to make Him known, in all I do; My heart now beats for the “knowing” the real “knowing” the knowing of Him who created the stars, HE is the only star I want to be found gazing at.  I want to know Him, acknowledge him, and let Him direct my steps.  I want to follow him into the trenches, the shadows, the limelight, wherever He may call.  I don’t want to know Him and make Him known for selfish, vain, motives.  NO.  I want to know Him and make Him known so I don’t miss my part in HIS show, His story. 


I am committed to living, writing, this year and every year to come for Him alone.  I will acknowledge Him and make Him known.  I will make Him known to my children, the students in our youth, friends, family, and others I don’t know via my blog.  I will not lean unto my own understanding and chase my way or what I think my life should mirror or look like.  I will chase after Him into the unknown, trusting He is writing my story, and I am known by HIM, besides to be known by Him and called His friend is all that really matters in the end.   


I will choose with joy in my heart to hide under the shadow of the most High even if that shadow never allows me to be known by many in this world, or brings me fame.  If I gain fame but do not know Him then I will be shamed in the end.  I want the shadows, His shadow to pull me closer into the knowing of Him. 

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12 comments

  1. Yes God is the only star I want to gaze upon too. You are so right envy and jealousy so easily creep in. I'm guilty of letting then steal them my joy and contentment.

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    1. It happens so fast I sometimes don't even realize it has crept into my heart!

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  2. I feel the same way. I loved this. Staying in the shadows might not be so bad after all:)

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    1. I know the more I think, read, pray, my heart is beginning to love the shadows!

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  3. "Envy is the thief of contentment" - so true. Reminds me of "comparison is the thief of joy" - also true. Good post.

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    1. YES! I read that line in another friend's blog a couple months ago!

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  4. I just loved reading your heart about this. It can be such a dangerous thing to get caught up in comparing or envying. I know that all too well. So much of what you have written here really speaks to me. I want this to be my prayer as well "May we remember to measure our success not by the praise of man, the media of this world, how many read our blogs, listen to the music we create, the publicity and fame, but by the lives we change by making Him known."

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    1. Thank you, I am so blessed that it spoke to your heart. I am really embracing this truth in my life, its hard though. But I am also thankful for His loving grace.

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  5. Laura, I believe the stars you have been gazing at would probably give their eye teeth to have the peace that passes all understanding that you know. And, (I know you know this), remember, all that glitters isn't gold. xo

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    1. :) Thank you sweet friend, may I call you that, friend? I hope so, I have so loved getting to know all of you precious ladies!

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  6. Beautiful comparison - there is a weird draw to them that I wonder about sometimes - I think about George Clooney saying at the Golden Globes that they in that room had caught the brass ring - I was thinking "there is only ONE real brass ring and I wonder how many of you have caught it. "

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    1. Exactly, yes all that shines is not always a reflection of true beauty and glory. A reflection we can only find and have seeking Him in the cleft of the rocks, the shadows, like Moses. Maybe I will write a follow-up post about His face shining on us.

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