Stargazer
3:02 PM
I’ll be utterly and completely honest I am a stargazer. Not the type of stargazer, who looks into the
starry night and looses all track of time.
While I thoroughly enjoy the spring and summer nights where I am
afforded the opportunity to escape into the country and gaze into the night
sky, it happens less than I’d like.
Here lately, I have found myself to be the stargazer of the
rich and famous. I loose myself
wandering through endless mazes of instagram, blogs, and twitter wishing I had their
life. I find inspirational authors,
compare and contrast, their lives, their successes, and envy them.
Envy is a thief of contentment. Gazing at the “now” appearances of their lives
without knowing the “way back when” years of endless lonely days and nights is
foolish. How can I envy a walk I know
nothing of? What troubles their heart, threatens their dreams, steals their
joy, breaks down every ounce of hope, and robs them of contentment themselves? The success of others, to our mere eyes, often
appears as luck. This “luck” of having
friends in the right places, massive amounts of money, connections, or fame,
are really years of hard work and dedication. I quickly forget to examine the
long road they themselves traveled.
Tired but relentless in pursuit for the calling in their
hearts, they journey on, despite hardship disappointment, and failures. They make sacrifices; practice the mundane
behind the scenes not so glamorous art of self-discipline. These I dream of being or
being like, make sacrifices, practice, pray, read, write, study and do this all
while never being known by anyone except the greatest of all – The CREATOR of
the stars.
To be known by many one must
first be known by one, the Creator of all.
He who creates the stars, created it all. He knows me better, much better, than I know
myself.
While I am off gallivanting, dreaming of another’s life, He is calling
me to dream and pursue His life, His heart, His story, His plan, and not to
fret and envy others.
I desperately long to be acknowledged, to do something great
for His purposes, but sometimes more times than not, I confuse the
acknowledgement of man, as success instead of the acknowledgement of Him. I am reminded of the story of Joseph, a
little haughty in spirit; he just knew the Lord was going to use him for
something great and couldn’t wait for his turn at success.
However, his journey to “success” came twenty-two years
later in a way, I think perhaps even shocked and surprised him. His story, I
believe, was probably not anything like he expected it to be. Never in a thousand years do I think Joseph
thought his journey to doing something great for God would lead him into
slavery and land him in prison.
Hidden in the shadows, for twenty-two years, Joseph stayed faithful
to the Lord. Joseph acknowledged the
Lord in the shadows, and the Lord acknowledged him in the shadows. The Lord provided Joseph opportunities even
in the shadows of prison to continue acknowledging HIM. I am sure that if I were Joseph I may have
thought twice about acknowledging the Lord in the shadows of prison. After all Joseph had previously done what was
right and it landed him in prison, into the shadows.
I believe while you and I are not in a physical prison, we
have become captive to envy, a prison of jealousy. We have been held captive to the lie of the
enemy that the years in the shadows are worthless, fruitless, unproductive, maybe
even punishment, meaningless. We have
become captive to the thoughts that our dreams will never come true. We are just nobodies, working a job that we
hate, wandering through college lost with no vision or dream to pursue, this is
all we will ever be… our current state. Lives in what seem to be shambles, are redirected, redesigned, and
recreated for His glory.
Yet, “If we resist the
mundane we will miss the miraculous.” (Steven Furtick) He hides us in the shadows for a reason, for
his purpose, for His timing, for a way that is way bigger than we could ever
dream. I have committed to the shadows,
to embrace His ways, to acknowledge Him in all I do and to live for His
purposes. He will draw me out and use me
when He sees fit at the perfect time.
Maybe you are like me gazing at stars, envying their life
instead of gazing at the STAR and the Creator of all stars envying a life that
brings HIM glory even if it means living in the shadows and making Him known
right there in the dark, lonely, insignificant places. When you and I make Him known wherever we are
the “knowing” you bring to those hidden in the shadows along side you is NEVER
insignificant.
May we remember to measure our success not by the praise of
man, the media of this world, how many read our blogs, listen to the music we
create, the publicity and fame, but by the lives we change by making Him known.
I want to make Him known, in all I do; My heart now beats
for the “knowing” the real “knowing” the knowing of Him who created the stars,
HE is the only star I want to be found gazing at. I want to know Him, acknowledge him, and let
Him direct my steps. I want to follow
him into the trenches, the shadows, the limelight, wherever He may call. I don’t want to know Him and make Him known
for selfish, vain, motives. NO. I want to know Him and make Him known so I
don’t miss my part in HIS show, His story.
I am committed to living, writing, this year and every year
to come for Him alone. I will acknowledge
Him and make Him known. I will make Him
known to my children, the students in our youth, friends, family, and others I
don’t know via my blog. I will not lean
unto my own understanding and chase my way or what I think my life should
mirror or look like. I will chase after Him into the unknown, trusting He is writing my
story, and I am known by HIM, besides to be known by Him and called
His friend is all that really matters in the end.
I will choose with joy in my heart to hide under the shadow
of the most High even if that shadow never allows me to be known by many in
this world, or brings me fame. If I gain
fame but do not know Him then I will be shamed in the end. I want the shadows, His shadow to pull me
closer into the knowing of Him.
12 comments
Yes God is the only star I want to gaze upon too. You are so right envy and jealousy so easily creep in. I'm guilty of letting then steal them my joy and contentment.
ReplyDeleteIt happens so fast I sometimes don't even realize it has crept into my heart!
DeleteI feel the same way. I loved this. Staying in the shadows might not be so bad after all:)
ReplyDeleteI know the more I think, read, pray, my heart is beginning to love the shadows!
Delete"Envy is the thief of contentment" - so true. Reminds me of "comparison is the thief of joy" - also true. Good post.
ReplyDeleteYES! I read that line in another friend's blog a couple months ago!
DeleteI just loved reading your heart about this. It can be such a dangerous thing to get caught up in comparing or envying. I know that all too well. So much of what you have written here really speaks to me. I want this to be my prayer as well "May we remember to measure our success not by the praise of man, the media of this world, how many read our blogs, listen to the music we create, the publicity and fame, but by the lives we change by making Him known."
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am so blessed that it spoke to your heart. I am really embracing this truth in my life, its hard though. But I am also thankful for His loving grace.
DeleteLaura, I believe the stars you have been gazing at would probably give their eye teeth to have the peace that passes all understanding that you know. And, (I know you know this), remember, all that glitters isn't gold. xo
ReplyDelete:) Thank you sweet friend, may I call you that, friend? I hope so, I have so loved getting to know all of you precious ladies!
DeleteBeautiful comparison - there is a weird draw to them that I wonder about sometimes - I think about George Clooney saying at the Golden Globes that they in that room had caught the brass ring - I was thinking "there is only ONE real brass ring and I wonder how many of you have caught it. "
ReplyDeleteExactly, yes all that shines is not always a reflection of true beauty and glory. A reflection we can only find and have seeking Him in the cleft of the rocks, the shadows, like Moses. Maybe I will write a follow-up post about His face shining on us.
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