Five Minute Friday - Door

7:20 PM


I'm over at Kate's linking up with the Five Minute Party.  We'd love for you to join us every Thursday on twitter #fmfparty. She gives a prompt word and we have five minutes to write out our thoughts.  

1. 

2..

3...


GO.



I slammed the door and yelled, "out!".  Did I really mean all those words? I was angry for sure there is no question about it.  However, when I slammed the door I slammed more than just a piece of wood; I slammed my heart. SHUT!


When I react in anger the door I'm really closing is the one to my heart.  My anger yells to the Holy Spirit and closes him out.  My anger silences his gentle voice.  When I slam doors I am left alone.  

He never intended for me to go at this alone.  He said I must go.  It is better that I go.  I will send a comforter. A counselor.  The Holy Spirit.  Remain here, stay, wait for the promise.  

I crumbled to the floor. Tears streamed down my face. I never intended in my anger to close you out.  I slammed a door on the one I needed more than my anger. 

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

I never dreamed he'd come back.  I didn't deserve for him to come back.  I heard the knock. I knew his knock I'd heard it before. He was there waiting for me to open the door. 

What about you are there doors you have slammed in your anger?  Are there doors you need to reopen? 

Behold I stand at the door and knock. 

STOP.

Be sure to head over to Kate's and join us there.


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16 comments

  1. Oh how often do we all do that? Close the door in anger? Yet God forgives and promises to open the doors to us. The Holy Spirit is a vessel that reminds us that we are never alone--God promises to never leave us or forsake us.a seminary professor called the Holy Spirit as the "dove of love." I love that image!

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    1. Yes, Tara I am so thankful he forgives. I was just thinking the other day about how much he extends grace and love to me. Boy oh boy I sometimes feel like Paul. Where sin increased grace increased all the more.

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  2. Argh! I understand completely! I'm so glad Jesus keeps on knocking, gently urging us to rethink our decisions and work through our feelings.

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    1. Yes, always working with me and for me. He has our best interest in mind, his love is enduring and for that I am forever grateful.

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  3. Oh yeah, I have definitely slammed many doors in my lifetime. This post is so encouraging Laura. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so vulnerable.

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    1. Natalie, thank you. I was kind of afraid to put it out there, because I just feel so ashamed when I react this way. I am glad it encouraged you and I am SOOO glad he knocks on our hearts. A gentle tap until we are ready to come out and receive His love.

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  4. Great post! It's so good to know that Holy Spirit is there to bring comfort and peace when we need it most. Blessings to you from your FMF friend, Tasha

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    1. Tasha thanks for stopping in! Isn't just like Him to come when we need Him most and wait until we are ready to sort through all our ugly!

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  5. I always know when the Holy Spirit is moving because I get angry... and I'm not an angry person. I get angry because I know there is more I'm meant to do and I'm purposefully not doing it.

    Thankfully I know this and can calm down sooner; and I promptly get over myself. :)

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    1. Liz I know me too! I am in that same boat right now, I just get uncomfortable and easily agitated at myself. I am learning its not so much about me as it is the work he is doing in me and that quickly brings it all back into right perspective. I rely on myself to do the work way to much! I read Phil 2:13 this week and it rocked my world. He works in us effectually! I love the amplified version!

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  6. I have TOTALLY done this and I actually wrote about closing a particular door in anger as my FMF entry today. It's a slightly different take on what you wrote but a similar idea. I'm very, very, very glad that He reopens doors that we shut! Stopping by from the 31 Days group!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I will head your way and check yours out. I love reading all the different takes on the word prompts!

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  7. A couple of weeks ago I had a minor meltdown and went to a really dark place in my head. Almost immediately I was overwhelmed by the awfulness of it and felt like I couldn't, shouldn't, go to the Lord and pour all the junk out before Him. Yet the Spirit kept knocking. Kept tugging. Kept reminding me that He was there, ready and willing to help me sort it all out. That I didn't have to be afraid or ashamed. Laura, thank you for reminding us of His love and how much we need Him!

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    1. Oh Marie, I feel like we were just there together.. I just got so mad because I felt as if He were asking way too much from me. I felt I had already done enough. I couldn't possibly do anymore. He was pushing me and I was getting mad! Very mad. Kind of like when a trainer pushes you in a good work out. Because they know you can do it and that you won't ever be able to do it unless you try and push yourself. I find in this particular case I felt like I had tried enough and couldn't do anymore. Boy does He ever surprise me just when I think I can't He shows me He can and will. In my weakness he is made strong, perfected even! Praise the Lord my weakness can be used for His good!

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  8. You know what I love about this? How loud and angry our No to God, our No to Love really is. We think we're just whispering our pride and self-centeredness... but it is a direct offense to our creator and those He intends for us to love. And yet His wrath was not poured out upon us in an angry way - but upon HIs Son. All of it poured out upon our Savior. And when no wrath was left... all that remained was love. That's is what we receive.

    And so let us, give it out. Laura. So blessed to be learning along side you.

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    1. Oh Wendy, Yes. Yes. Yes. What a beautiful angle you have brought to the table. All poured out on his son, so I his daughter could be loved. I feel so unloveable when I treat him this way. I feel so ashamed after, and all the while He whispers I am not putting that shame condemnation on you. Put down your anger and pride. Simply rely on me and I will do the work in you. How prideful and foolish for me to think I could do this work he has called me to do. So when he comes and ask me to do something I cannot do I get angry. Of course I cant do this, I was never suppose to do this, He was. He did. and He will continue to do the work. If only I will humble myself before him and quit striving to do this thing alone and on my own. Oh that pride of mine. I need Him to rid me of it! Thank you for stopping by and helping me to realize the love he has for me, for us, for you.

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31 Days of Writing 2015

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Five Minute Fridays