Are You Ever REALLY Free?

1:14 PM

   
Why is it that if we believe perfect love cast out fear so many of us still struggle with fear?  For those of you who know me and know a little of my story my issues with fear go way back.  (Read more here) 

I am currently reading “Make it Happen” by Lara Casey, while reading the conversations with my head and heart begin.  Maybe you have had similar conversations yourself.  You know the kind where your “head” argues with your “heart”.  My head knows the facts, the promises of God’s unfailing love and Word, and my heart knows the truth of my calloused heart.  My head tries to convince my heart she is truly free of fear while my heart aches and quietly whispers, “But she is not, she is not free.”  Fact and Truth soar with rising heights of tension.



Heated, I believe would be an understatement for this in-particular debate.  Clashing. Resounding. Arguments from both my heart and head collide.  I sit quietly, in the silence and all I can hear is the screeching, as I demand they both, “BE STILL.”  Yes, “Be Still, quiet both of you.” 



Fact is yes I struggle with fear.  Truth is I am set free from free.  Perfect love cast out fear.  However, I have come to realize if I am not in control, with my planning, thinking, then I am not really free from fear.  Here lies the inward truth, with this entire inward struggle and turmoil it comes down to me controlling my future.  I don’t trust.  If I can think, plan, insure everything goes smoothly then I do not struggle with fear, I know the outcome, because I have already thought through every slightest of details.  BUT when I do not know the plan, the thoughts in regards to my future, I FREAK.  I FEAR. 

I have dreams, dreams I believe are from the heart of God, concerning my life.  But I also feel the need to do A, B, C…. to make sure it comes to pass.  If I don’t do this, then “this plan, this dream, this calling, this purpose” will not happen, because I have to make it happen. While I fully believe there are steps we need to take, I am speaking of my ways, my steps and not walking in His ways and steps.  I have been coming up with my own way and plan to try and make sure His plan comes to pass. 


Are you ready to hear my ugly truth?

I don’t trust that He is God and He is Big enough to make His plan for my life come to pass.  I feel like He desperately needs my help and assistance.  I have been cleverly taking on His role.  Instead of letting go of control and holding to His hand I have been driving myself crazy exhausted trying to figure out with my planning, and thinking how am I going to make this happen.




I am finally coming to a place where I am letting go of all the plans I had for my life in order to insure His plan would come to pass and I am leaning in close not unto my own understanding, BUT acknowledging Him and trusting He is and will continue to direct my path.  And all those dreams and desires I am trusting they are His and He is able to do exceedingly, more than I can ever ask dream or imagine. 



I have resolved to believe the impossible is possible for my life; He has plans to prosper me and not harm me or leave me broken and disappointed.  I resolve to live with zeal and not be jealous or anxious for anything.  I have decided to live by faith and not act out of fear and try to control the outcome of my life.  I am complete in Christ, and He loves me and wants to give me good gifts, He is not a God of lack.  There is more than enough of Him to go around.  I will humble myself under His hand and trust that He will lift me up in His time!  Acting in fear will only suffocate and eventually kill my faith. Oh but actively walking in Faith will suffocate and eventually kill my fear.

What about you, do you fear your dreams will not come to pass unless you make it happen with plans that will possibly lead you further away from your dream? 







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4 comments

  1. Such a beautiful post - this is the exact reason I am studying the Fear Nots in the Bible this year - they say there are 365 - one for each day - however, I am learning a lot - there is more to is than just bearing down and not fearing - so much as to do with our working together as the Body of Christ - encourage someone today to go for it

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    1. Yes, He is showing me the roots of my struggles and I am accepting them and allowing Him to propel me forward into His way and plans! He is also surrounding me with incredible women such as yourself to help cheer me on! Thank you for reading and taking time to comment!

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  2. God's plan is so much greater for our lives than we could even imagine. Give your fear to God and let him take control. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. I am a planner, but with the military telling us where to go I have had to give up control. Trusting in God has gotten me through. It is amazing where he leads us and how quickly we have been able to find friends and a church in the new community we are living in. When life gets hard it is sometimes easier for me to rely on Him, even if going through it isn't easy. It is always worth it on the other side.

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  3. Oh yeah, I totally struggle with that. I am encouraged to here that you are at crossroads right now and I pray that His love and peace would envelope you every step of the way.

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