Yearning for change, but I can't change. What is wrong with me?

12:34 PM

There is salvation in no one else!  God has given no other name under heaven 
by which we must be saved.
Acts 4:12

Some days my heart yearns for change.  
Now you may not be like me, you may love same.  I do like routine but I don’t like when routines  become chains in my life holding me captive to unrealistic expectations.  I even changed up my font and format of my blog post.  I just needed change.  I am antsy in my flesh, and spirit.  I want to change but I can't.  I want to change more than just routine, fonts, and thoughts, I want serious life change.  I want to I know there is more, really more. That is why I am devouring today’s verse of the day.  There is nothing in and of myself that can save me.  There is nothing and no one who can change me.  There is nothing and no one who can satisfy the longing in my heart to know Him, and make him known.
No name in my contact list, no make of “who we know”, no connections via various social media platforms that can save us, no pastor, political figure, human resource personnel, spouse, friend, NO ONE other than JESUS himself.  I know this may sound so elementary but how often do we scroll through to see who we can call, private message, email, ask to see if they have a “connection” in order to save us from our said problems, or even lighten our stressed and burdened soul.  This verse is like fresh air to my infected lungs.  I am guilty of trusting in and calling on others before the Lord. 

My name yields no power and very little influence but HIS name, has authority, his name is above all names.  His spirit lives inside of me and His spirit yields power.  He has the power to save.  I cannot work hard enough, network with enough people, serve enough, and keep myself busy enough to save myself from me or anyone else for that matter.  I need saving everyday.  I need saving grace to flood my life.  I need his love to wash over me, drenching every last ounce of this mortal heart.  I need salvation and grace to be a safety device in deep waters of worry.  
I am and will forever be in need of Christ.

Father, save me from myself.  From my fear, insecurity, and doubt.  I believe but help my unbelief.  Thank you for only asking small of me, like a tiny mustard seed small of me.  Some days it feels like that is all I have is a seed, but you use even the smallest of faith to do miraculous things.  Rescue me from my vein and selfish ambitions and give me Kingdom ambitions.  Let everything I do or even think of doing be all for THE ONE _ Christ and His kingdom and for THAT one.  The lost one, the one you left heaven for.  You came to seek and save that which was lost.  May my heart mesh so tightly with yours this becomes my everyday mission so that all I do is find ways, creative ways, to find, seek, and bring the Salvation of the Lord to those who are lost.  Inn Jesus name grow your kingdom through the work of my hands, the warmth of my smile, and the strength of my embrace.

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  1. I love change. I like the flush right justification in your paragraphs and the new font. I like the change of seasons. I like to change clothes. I love the change of scenery. BUT IN ALL OF THAT, I am so very grateful that HE REMAINS STEADFAST AND THE SAME. He is not fickle. He is not moody. He is not harsh, hard, or angry. He stays the same even when I do not. xo

  2. Friend, I so hear your heart. Change can be so hard. Love this line: "I need salvation and grace to be a safety device in deep waters of water."

  3. Amen! Beautiful post, Laura! I'm not that fond of change; but SOME change IS good...and believe me, I have had a lot of that change over the past few years. GOD is GOOD and has blessed us; yet, I know there is more...and I am uncertain of the future with my husband's dementia and hearing loss. But, God IS good! And I can lean on Him and know He has it all in His hands.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughtful words, Laura!


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