I can dance, Do you love me NOW? PART 2
12:42 PM
Surrounded by friends, to the naked eye, who had perfect
lives. I developed a foolproof
plan. I would simply follow their
example. If this “Savior” I had found
didn’t care about me then I refused to waste another minute trying to please
and care about Him. The enemy now had me
tied to him like a puppet. He was the
puppeteer and controlled every move I made.
Entangling myself in the ways of this world, I began
drinking, smoking, and chasing approval from unhealthy relationships with various
guys and seeking acceptance with a crowd of friends who like me, were stumbling
through life aimlessly being controlled from the master puppeteer.
Lying, sneaking around, hiding, dancing the night away at
clubs (I know I can’t dance, I was humiliated to be there), however I would
risk self-humiliation in exchange for love and in order to find a new
“savior.” Spring break came and all it
took was one invite and I was in the car headed out of town. How I was able to continue on this path for a
year or more without being raped, kidnapped, or killed is beyond my
understanding other than HIS glory Protects.
His glory not only protected me the night my father murdered
my mother, HE protected me while I ran from HIM. His glory will HUNT you down, HIS glory PURSUES you. He started on a high chase
pursuit once I was conceived, and hasn't stopped. He will NEVER stop pursuing us. HE saw the enemy lure me into darkness and He was right behind following, watching every move, waiting for my return. Blinded by my anger and frustration I was not
able to clearly see. I had no idea He
was chasing me, pursuing me, protecting me yet again in my life.
His LOVE is not and will NEVER be a conditional love. Even when I had left him, let him down,
dishonored him with my life HE LOVED ME.
He has loved me, you from the beginning of time and will ALWAYS love
you, love me. Even if you make your bed in hell, HE IS THERE. (Psalm 139)
Where can I hide?
"I CAN NEVER HIDE FROM HIM
ONLY IN HIM!"
~ Laura Mitchell ~
I so badly wish I could come through this computer screen
and HOLD you, HUG you, WIPE your tears and WELCOME you HOME!! HE. IS. HERE. And HE. IS. ENOUGH. He REDEEMS
you, LOVES you with an EVERLASTING LOVE based only on HIS LOVE that is
UNCONDITIONAL. He is Perfection and He
is our HOPE. We can ANCHOR ourselves in
HIM. He lived perfectly because we could
not. He died in exchange for our messy
lives, and poured out His love on our hearts.
I will love HIM in return with an UNCONDITIONAL love.
If my world shatters today, I will love you. If my marriage
is on the rocks, I will serve you. If my children are running I will love you,
trust you. If I suffer unspeakable loss I will serve you. I will love you with an everlasting love because
you have poured out your everlasting love over my life.
Besides where else can I go? Who has and will continue to love me with an unconditional everlasting love?
I am free from performance driven love. I no longer worry about being good enough, He is GOOD enough. I have let go of placing conditions on His love. I choose now to honor Him with my life and love Him despite the world we live in. This world is broken. This world is not my home. This world will never have my heart. My heart was won. If home is where the heart is, than for me home is in His arms.
I will live by the fruit of the spirit and no longer live by the frustrations of the flesh. Perfection is not a fruit LOVE however is and it births JOY. It is my JOY to honor, love, and serve Him.
22 comments
It has really been laid on my heart this week that Jesus is standing at the door knocking already. We don't have to go looking, we just have to open the door!
ReplyDeleteYES! I love that He is always there, with us, He never sleeps or slumbers!!!
DeleteThank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'm completely 'free from performance driven love' yet, but God loves me whether I'm successful or not.
Oh Romi, there are some days I know I am not completely free, and he quiets my martha heart and reminds me to slow down! He loved Martha and Mary. His grace increased all the more even in our success and failures!!! HUGS!!!
DeleteLaura, what a powerful story and witness to God's never-ending pursuit of us! What a story of redemption and JOY! I am so glad your blog was one I was blessed to read. Seriously! Blessed to read how God can Turn It Around!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, when I began I am sure like many first time bloggers I was terrified to share. But then it was like a well in my soul and I just couldn't hold back any longer! I am so blessed by your kind words. He is so Good and Faithful! I can see His hand more clearly now than ever before. Hind sight is 20/20. :)
DeleteWow and wow...thank you for sharing all your passion and faith and trust in God on this post. Amazed at your passion for God and conviction of His pursuit of us.
ReplyDeleteSo glad I found your blog today!
Thank you! I sometimes wonder if I come on to strong ha ha lol I just can't help myself. He has done great things and my heart will sing! I want everyone to experience the same kind of redemption, hope, and freedom I have.
Deletewow wow. This is so intense. His love is unconditional and always there.
ReplyDeleteYes I read Hind's feet in High Places it is a really old book, but it gave me a whole new level of revelation and understand of His love for us.
DeleteWow. Very powerful post. I especially liked "If home is where the heart is, than for me home is in His arms."
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to read! Yes there is no place I'd rather be!
DeleteWow! It sounds like He has protected you from a lot. What a testimony of his grace and the fact that you can be writing all this so courageously. It is very powerful. I am glad you shared.
ReplyDeleteThank you, It is by His grace. I guess my mom knew exactly what she was doing when she gave me my name, Laura means victorious. He has made me victorious, I and you and everyone He redeems He makes an overcomer!! WOW He is so good!!!
DeleteThe depths with which you have encountered God come out in your words in a passionate beautiful way. He is enough. He is more than enough.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kristi, that means the world to me!
DeleteSo thankful His love is unconditional! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Love what you say here... We can never hide from Him only in Him. :)
ReplyDeleteDenise, you are most welcome. Thank you for taking time to read. That part came straight from His heart, it rocked my world its my favorite part!
DeleteLaura, I am in awe of your love and your challenge. I am one that pursues my relationship with God. I am so glad I found you today. Blessings. DIANA
ReplyDeleteI am thankful the Lord is bringing you into my life and so thankful I took this challenge it has changed me in many different ways. I am excited to continue to meet new readers and develop friendships and community.
DeleteWow, Laura. The words you wrote are so powerful and passion-filled. Just beautiful. Yes, He does pursue us and will never stop. Great word today, friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I love that He never stops, even in the difficult seasons when we don't understand He is there!
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